Kamis, 09 Juli 2009

MTV News

MTV News


Beyonce Gets Crazy, Sexy, Cool In 'Sweet Dreams' Video

Posted: 09 Jul 2009 04:10 AM PDT

B dons flashy clothes and finds new ways to contort her body in her newest clip.
By James Montgomery


Beyoncé in "Sweet Dreams"
Photo: Sony

It all started with "Ring the Alarm," then picked up steam with subsequent singles (and videos) like "Get Me Bodied," "Single Ladies (Put a Ring On It)" and "Diva." The theory that, somewhere beneath her media-trained demeanor and her well-buffed veneer, Beyoncé was harboring the soul of a wild woman, one who yearns to break free and run screaming through the streets and burn up dance floors and take hostages and drink the blood of her detractors.

Or, you know, something like that.

Needless to say, B would probably be a pretty interesting gal to have a few drinks with. There is no pop star of her level or pedigree that releases the kinds of singles she does — glitchy, careening, hip-shuttering dance tracks — and pairs them with videos that look like Fellini films on fire. She is either the most adventurous megastar on the planet or the most insane. Possibly both.

But aside from the battiness, most of Beyoncé's recent singles — the high-energy ones, at least — have something else in common: They are all great. "Ring the Alarm" and "Bodied" were departures, sure, but they were undeniably catchy tunes, and "Single Ladies" placed second on my Best Songs of 2008 list (and I wasn't the only one to fall in love with its mechanized whomp and mind-melting video — Rolling Stone put it at #1 on their list.) And now you can add another one to her hit list: the just-released "Sweet Dreams."

The song itself isn't particularly new — it actually leaked before the release of Beyoncé's 2008 album I Am ... Sasha Fierce, only back then, it was called "Beautiful Nightmare" — but it's been tapped as the latest single, and in keeping with grand B tradition, it's accompanied by an eye-popping, herky-jerky, high-fashion video, this time directed by Adira Petty (whose résumé includes clips for Duffy and Regina Spektor).

So, once again, we get Beyoncé popping her pelvis in ways never imagined. We get Beyoncé strutting with her two doppelgängers (Ebony Williams and Ashley Everett). And we get Beyoncé wearing about a million flashy, asymmetrical costumes. She expands on her burgeoning robot fetish (which I think is supposed to symbolize her Sasha Fierce alter-ego), flashes the crazy eyes and contorts her body in downright unsettling ways. All of which is to say that "Sweet Dreams" is just like every amazingly crazy Beyoncé video from the past three years, which — to extend the point — also means that it's pretty great.

Oh, and the song — it's great too. The gnarly low end (which kind of sounds like Michael Jackson's "Beat It" for about half a second), the spare snare kicks, the expansive-yet-molecular chorus — sonically, it's as adventurous as anything she's ever released. And her vocals — icy and cool, slippery like mercury — are nothing to scoff at either. All in all, it's another undeniable smash ... sort of unsettling, kind of crazy, totally unlike anything anyone else is doing right now (sorry Gaga). There's truly no one else in the game like Beyoncé, especially when she gives us a peek at her inner freak.

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Fabolous Gets Support From Nas, Jay-Z For New Album

Posted: 09 Jul 2009 04:10 AM PDT

Plus: Def Jam exec Lenny Santiago explains Ghostface Killah's upcoming 'R&B' album, in Mixtape Daily.
By Shaheem Reid


Jay-Z and Fabolous
Photo: Def Jam

Executive Decisions: Power Moves Behind The Scenes

Lenny Santiago has a rich history in the rap game. His hands have been in almost all Roc-A-Fella Records releases (sans Kanye West's), and now he's running things over at Def Jam as vice president of A&R. He signed DJ Khaled and also spearheaded the A&R work on Jadakiss' The Last Kiss and Fabolous' upcoming Loso's Way (due July 28), and his big fall project is the new one from Ghostface Killah.

But hold up: There's been some controversy over whether Ghostface will really live up to early descriptions that the record that will be an R&B album. Tony Starks giving up rapping for crooning? Santiago says no.

"The new album is called The Wizard of Poetry," Santiago said. "It is an R&B album. When I say that, this is what I mean: Ghostface usually raps over melodic, soulful R&B tracks. This time, we came around and I had him rhyme over the same type of tracks, but we matched him with great R&B stars. John Legend is on there. Raheem DeVaughn is on there. Estelle is on there. Musiq Soulchild is on there. Lloyd is on there. We just paired him up. It's the same Ghost, the same gritty host, the same Ghost that talks to the ladies in that soulful voice along with R&B hooks."

The Streets Is Talking: News & Notes From The Underground

Great food, great conversation and the music is banging. Fabolous invited us to dinner earlier this week at Philippe Chow's to hear Loso's Way. Alongside MTV News, our Hot 97 homie Miss Info was among the short list of guests, as well as DJ S&S and Nas. S&S told some wild stories about him bootlegging some of the music from the early Illmatic recording sessions; luckily, Nas has let bygones be bygones.

Esco particularly loved a Fab song called "Pachanga," on which he flips some of Nas' famous lyrics: "Love changes, a thug changes and best friends become strangers/ Pachangas!"

Another legend in Fab's corner is Jay-Z. Fab took a record Jay had for American Gangster called "When the Money Goes."

"Me and Jay built a connection through Def Jam," Fab told us on the video set for "Throw It in the Bag." "Through working together executive to artist [when Jay was Def Jam president], we built a different relationship as well. Maybe artist to artist we was in a little different space. You didn't know where each other was at. We work well. When I needed help with the [new] album and I was reaching out for people for joints for the album, he was one of the people that was like, 'Hear this.' That's where that joint came from. We got a connection. He's from Brooklyn, I'm from Brooklyn — that's enough of a connection right there."

Look for a "Loso's Way" movie to come with the album when it drops July 28.

"We came up with the songs first," he said. "I made the songs to the scenario I thought of. Then I wrote a story [for a film]. Even when I was writing the story, I could hear certain songs coming up in those scenarios, in those scenes. That's why it meshed well."

For other artists featured in Mixtape Monday, check out Mixtape Mondays Headlines.

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Mariah Carey Worries She 'Let Everybody Down' At Jackson Memorial

Posted: 07 Jul 2009 10:49 PM PDT

'It was a true and honest emotional moment,' she tells 'Today' of her voice cracking during 'I'll Be There.'
By Jocelyn Vena


Mariah Carey on "Today"
Photo: NBC

Mariah Carey had the difficult task of being the first performer at the Michael Jackson memorial on Tuesday. And when her voice cracked in the first few moments of her cover of the Jackson 5's "I'll Be There," she said she felt like she disappointed everyone.

On the "Today" show Wednesday (July 8), Carey described how hard it was for her to sing on the show and how seeing the casket made it difficult for her to get through the performance. "I feel a little bit like I let everybody down, but I really did try and it was difficult," she said. "But you know what I think? It was a true and honest emotional moment."

On Tuesday, Mariah also took to her Twitter to share with her fans her disappointment over her performance and how completely emotional she became at the show. "Trying to sing today was basically impossible for me," she wrote. "I could barely keep myself from crying."

She apologized for the performance, during which she was joined by her "MTV Unplugged" duet partner Trey Lorenz. "I'm sorry that I wasn't able to pull it together and really do it right, but I was literally choked up when I saw him there in front of me," she tweeted. "One thing I know is, we will never really have to say goodbye to MJ. His legacy lives on through his music and the millions of people he inspired with his timeless music. He will be forever in our hearts."

For complete coverage of the life, career and passing of the legendary entertainer, visit "Michael Jackson Remembered."

Share your Michael Jackson memories by uploading video and comments to Your.MTV.com or joining the discussion below.

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Paris Jackson Led A Sheltered Life Before MJ Memorial

Posted: 08 Jul 2009 01:32 AM PDT

Michael Jackson's daughter, who called him 'the best father you could ever imagine,' was shielded from the world before Tuesday's appearance.
By Gil Kaufman


Janet, Paris and La Toya Jackson
Photo: Harrison Funk/MJ Memorial/WireImage

The day that the world said goodbye to Michael Jackson was also the day it was formally introduced to the reclusive singer's three young children. Most prominently in the spotlight was his 11-year old middle child, daughter Paris Michael Katherine Jackson, whose tearful remembrance of "the best father you could ever imagine" instantly became the most memorable moment of the nearly three-hour public memorial for the King of Pop.

The world knows very little about Paris, her older brother, Michael Joseph Jr., 12 (known as Prince Michael) and Prince Michael II (known as "Blanket"), 7, whose faces and private lives were kept intensely guarded by Jackson during his lifetime as a means of sparing them from the harsh spotlight he lived under as a world-famous child star.

But, given that they were the offspring of the most famous pop star in the world, the ceaseless scramble to get photos of the children and find out about their lives led Jackson to shield their faces behind veils, masks and other disguises, making their public debut at his funeral all the more dramatic. In what has been described as a spontaneous act, Paris broke her lifelong public silence with the heartbreaking plea: "I just wanted to say I love him so much."

Like Michael Joseph Jr., Paris is Jackson's daughter from his second short-lived marriage, to Debbie Rowe, a nurse who worked for the singer's dermatologist. In the wake of Jackson's death, a variety of allegations have come forward claiming that he was not the biological father of the children — with some reporting that Rowe's boss, dermatologist Arnold Klein, was the sperm donor, a claim he denied on Wednesday on "Good Morning America." (Jackson's youngest was carried by a still-unidentified surrogate.) Jackson and Rowe divorced in 1999, less than a year after Paris' birth, and Rowe agreed to give her ex-husband full custody of the children, although she has said she may attempt to gain custody in the wake of his death.

From the time of her birth, Jackson tried to keep Paris' face hidden from view as he moved his children across the globe following his acquittal in 2005 on child-molestation charges. Occasional glimpses of the girl — who was hidden behind feathered masks, Halloween get-ups and printed veils — were seen as she joined her unconventional family in a nomadic existence that took them from Neverland Valley Ranch to Bahrain, Las Vegas, the East Coast and various rented Los Angeles residences.

Despite her unconventional life, friends and former employees of Jackson recently told Us Magazine for a July 13 cover story that Paris and her brothers were very polite, well-adjusted and free of their father's notorious eccentricities. Jackson's former photographer Ian Barkley said they were "some of the most intelligent kids I've ever been around," with several sources describing Jackson lending a hand in the home-schooling of his children by teaching them lessons on African-American history, art and music.

While the confidants describe the children as remarkably well-adjusted, Barkley said the homeschooling and isolation from other children — Jackson reportedly didn't let them stray far from the home at Neverland because he allegedly feared coyotes would attack them — took a toll on them, especially Paris. Worried that they would be subject to constant questions about their paternity, Jackson kept them close, which Barkley said weighed on his daughter. "Sometimes you'd just see her sitting in her window looking like she was kind of depressed when they were out on the ranch," he said, though former publicist Raymone Bain — who sued Jackson for $44 million weeks before his death — said they weren't that isolated and often had sleepovers with friends.

Even with the doting attention they got from Jackson, Barkley said Paris often yearned for a mother figure. "Paris had issues where she wanted a mother instead of just a dad," he told the magazine.

It's unclear if Rowe will reassert her rights as the children's mother in the wake of Jackson's death, but for now they have been put in the temporary custody of the singer's mother, Katherine Jackson. On Tuesday, they were seated in the front row along with their grandparents, aunts and uncles, with Blanket clutching a copy of the memorial program and an action figure of his father as Paris and Prince Michael sat stoically just feet from their father's flower-draped golden casket.

In a sad irony, Jackson's first marriage was to Lisa Marie Presley, the only child of Elvis Presley and wife Priscilla, who, like Paris, was forced to grow up in public following the death of her unimaginably famous father at a young age (42). Like Paris, Lisa Marie grew up in her father's secluded playground — in her case, Elvis' Graceland mansion — and was showered with lavish gifts by her doting dad, who died when she was just 9 years old.

Even if Paris Jackson fades back into a life of seclusion, the world will always remember her as the little girl who just wanted to say that she loved her dad.

What did you think of Paris Jackson's appearance at the Michael Jackson memorial? Let us know below.

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Young Jeezy Is Working On <i>Thug Motivation 103</i> 'Right Now'

Posted: 08 Jul 2009 05:37 AM PDT

'I'm going back and picking up a little where I left off,' MC says of next album.
By Shaheem Reid


Young Jeezy
Photo: MTV News

Young Jeezy is continuing his Thug Motivation series with the third installment: Thug Motivation 103 is slated for release in the coming months.

"It's coming as soon as it's done. I'm working on it right now. I'm working on [my artist] J.W.'s album, Boo Rossini's album , Slick Pulla's album, U.S.D.A. project — rest of the family."

But first up, the Snowman told us about his new LP.

"Thug Motivation 103 — I'm going back and picking up a little where I left off," he told us recently. "Right now, people having a lot of money problems, but it ain't recession- wise — it's hustlin'-wise. It ain't what you got, it's what you keep. I know it because I really been through this. I been out there. I'mma help cats through this. So by the time Thug Motivation 103 is over with, we gonna be getting money again like when we used to blow 100, 200 thousand dollars in the club like it wasn't nothing. [Money in the] plastic bags!"

This summer, Jeezy goes out on tour with Lil Wayne, Drake, Soulja Boy and the recently added Jeremih on the Young Money Presents: America's Most Wanted Music Festival.

"It's gonna be different," he said. "Me and Wayne decided to go out together. It's definitely gonna be different. I'm used to going out on a different type of tour, but it's gonna be different. Everybody loves Wayne. Even little kids 3 years old love Wayne. But I'mma take Thug Motivation there too — they need some Thug Motivation too."

Drake On Michael Jackson: 'He Gave A Lot To The World'

Posted: 08 Jul 2009 01:40 AM PDT

MC also weighs in on black community's feelings about late singer.
By Shaheem Reid


Drake
Photo: MTV News

Michael Jackson was a worldwide phenomenon, and like so many others, up-and-coming MC Drake, who signed with Lil Wayne's Young Money label last week, was enthralled with the King of Pop as a youngster.

"[Seeing] Michael Jackson, for me, was one of the first times that I really [felt] the power of an entertainer," he said. "I remember having 'Moonwalker' — I remember having that on [VHS] cassette and I remember how religiously I used to watch it. I used to feel like, as a kid, it was the most amazing place for me to escape to, because it was this world that Michael created. He was the first artist that I ever experienced that really ... you'd get lost in Michael Jackson, in his music, the imagery. Now that I'm older I can look back and be like, 'Wow.' You know, he was one of the most consistent entertainers of all time. For me, I remember just how much I used to watch that movie and study it."

Drake said he knew every move and loved the animation in the film. The multi-talented performer also took time to reflect on what the Jackson death means to the world.

"It's a big loss," he said. "I think he gave a lot to the world, though, so everyone is going to be sad about it. But I think Mike did something that will never be done again, so you can't be that sad about it, you go to celebrate him."

In the wake of Jackson's death, some media outlets said that the King of Pop lost some of his black fans over the years, due to his frequent plastic surgery, among other reasons. Like the Reverend Al Sharpton, Drake disagreed with those claims.

"I think you either appreciate Michael Jackson or you don't," Drake said. "I don't think it matters about him changing himself. I don't think black people have resentment towards him for what he did to himself. Those were all personal decisions, you know. And nobody knows what that man was going through to make him want to look like that or change himself. I know there's things about me that I want to change, just because they make me self-conscious. That's why I get up and I'm pressed to go to the gym because I look at the TV and I see all these dudes with their shirts off, and it makes me self-conscious. It's not to the point where I would do anything crazy, but then again, you can't speak for somebody else. I think you either appreciate him and what he did and what he gave us or you don't.

"I don't think it's fair to say that as a race we hold it against him," Drake continued. "I think that there's only so much you can expect from the media, and that's something I'm learning too, on a smaller scale. But on a personal level, there's outlets with integrity that actually work for the artists and there's one's that try to take you apart. The key to it is not paying attention — but when you get to a Michael Jackson level, it's kinda hard to not pay attention."

For complete coverage of the life, career and passing of the legendary entertainer, visit "Michael Jackson Remembered."

Share your Michael Jackson memories by uploading video and comments to Your.MTV.com or joining the discussion below.

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Michael Jackson Dominates <i>Billboard</i> Charts

Posted: 08 Jul 2009 06:25 AM PDT

In the second week after his death, King of Pop's records flew off shelves.
By Gil Kaufman


Michael Jackson's <i>Off The Wall</i>
Photo: Epic

Michael Jackson fans paid tribute to the King of Pop the best way they knew how last week: by buying his music. In the first full week following the death of Jackson at age 50, and with retailers fully prepared for the onslaught of buyers, the fallen pop idol sold an astonishing 800,000 solo albums, dominating the charts in a way not seen since his heyday in the early 1980s.

According to figures provided by Nielsen SoundScan, Jackson's sales nearly doubled from the week before, with his music occupying all 10 spots on the Top Catalog Albums chart, led by Number Ones, which sold 339,000 copies, a 215 percent increase from the previous week. Unlike the reporting period ending June 28 (just four days after Jackson's death), this time retailers had a chance to stock up, so physical albums represented 82 percent of MJ's sales, nearly double the figure from the previous one, according to Billboard.

Jackson's iconic Thriller album sold 187,000 copies (an 86 percent increase from the week before). The Essential Michael Jackson comes in at #3 with sales of 125,000, followed by Off the Wall (51,000), Dangerous (26,000), Bad (23,000), a Jackson 5 compilation (10,000), a solo Ultimate Collection (just under 10,000), his final solo album, Invincible (8,000), and Greatest Hits HIStory, Vol. 1 at #10 (close to 8,000).

Jackson's albums dominated the Top Pop Catalog charts, which tracks albums that are more than 18 months old and don't have a current single on the radio. Though the discs were not eligible for inclusion on the Top 200 albums chart, the top two Jackson titles easily bested that chart's top album, the Now That's What I Call Music! Vol. 31 compilation, which logged 169,000 in sales.

Jackson also dominated on the Billboard Hot Digital Songs chart, with five out of the top 10 slots. The song that has become Jackson's unofficial theme in death, "Man in the Mirror," sold 159,000 copies, coming in just behind the Black Eyed Peas' "I Gotta Feeling." Overall, Jackson songs sold at a clip of 2.2 million downloads over the past week, just a shade under the 2.6 million that moved in the days after his death. In light of the all-star tribute to Jackson on Tuesday at Los Angeles' Staples Center, the singer's music is likely to dominate the charts again next week, especially if digital singles of performances from Mariah Carey, Usher, Stevie Wonder and Jennifer Hudson are released this week.

For complete coverage of the life, career and passing of the legendary entertainer, visit "Michael Jackson Remembered."

Share your Michael Jackson memories by uploading video and comments to Your.MTV.com or joining the discussion below.

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Janet Jackson, Sisters Thank Fans After Michael Jackson Memorial

Posted: 08 Jul 2009 02:22 AM PDT

La Toya, Rebbie and Janet Jackson spoke at Nokia Theatre on Tuesday.
By Jocelyn Vena


Janet, La Toya, Rebbie Jackson at Michael's public memorial
Photo: Harrison Funk/ WireImage

After appearing with their family at the Michael Jackson memorial at the Staples Center in Los Angeles on Tuesday, the singer's sisters — Janet, La Toya and Rebbie — also addressed the fans at the Nokia Theatre nearby, where several thousand fans who did not receive tickets to the Staples Center watched the tribute to the late King of Pop.

The oldest Jackson child, Rebbie, thanked the crowd for all the support they've showed the Jackson family since Michael's unexpected death nearly two weeks ago. "We are extremely grateful for all the support. We love you all," she said in a video posted on TMZ Wednesday (July 8), adding, "One more thing, I want to thank the city [of Los Angeles] and all the support we've received from everyone."

La Toya also addressed the crowd in the longest of the three statements, saying that Michael always appreciated his fans and also thanked them for showing everyone they still care about the late pop icon. "I just wanted to let you all know that you have been very, very supportive, and as you well know Michael loved his fans more than anybody in the whole world."

She added that her brother "has always said that his family is first and his fans are second, and I know that he'd be so happy that you're here supporting him. And he's watching every last one of you. I just want to thank you all for being there for him. He loves you all very much."

However, the speech that got the biggest response was a short and sweet one from Janet that echoed her tearful comments at the BET Awards last week.

"I just want to say, once again thank you for all your love and all of your support and Michael will live in all of our hearts forever."

For complete coverage of the life, career and passing of the legendary entertainer, visit "Michael Jackson Remembered."

Share your Michael Jackson memories by uploading video and comments to Your.MTV.com or joining the discussion below.

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Paris Jackson Was 'Brave' To Speak At Dad's Memorial, Fans Say

Posted: 08 Jul 2009 03:18 AM PDT

'Seeing how loving she was, I thought he was a great father,' one fan tells MTV News.
By Jocelyn Vena, with reporting by Tim Kash


Paris Jackson surrounded by her family at the Michael Jackson's memorial
Photo: Mark Terrill-Pool/Getty Images

During Tuesday's memorial service, Michael Jackson's daughter, 11-year-old Paris Michael Katherine Jackson, went from a sheltered child to a worldwide celebrity. Her tearful speech, during which she remembered "the best father you could ever imagine," eclipsed every other appearance at the tribute, became the most moving moment of the day.

"It touched me," Simone Sam told MTV News. "It made me cry at the end. When his daughter, Paris, spoke, I cried."

Another Jackson fan, Stephanie Colache, said she "cried like a little baby throughout the whole thing."

"I thought it was phenomenal," she said. "It was really personal to me. I know the public has not seen [Paris] at all, and it was just amazing. To me, I always thought of him as a music legend, not so much as a father, and after seeing Paris, I thought that he was such a father figure for many fathers around here, and seeing how loving she was, I thought he was a great father."

Stephanie Tsang couldn't help but feel overwhelmed by Paris' loss. "When the daughter started crying and hugged Janet Jackson, that was really touching," she said. "I thought it was really brave of her not only to do that in front of her family and the whole Staples Center, but the world as well. I was really sad for her, 'cause her dad was a great person."

"When Janet was telling little Paris to 'Speak up, go ahead, speak up' and Paris went and told the world how she felt about her father's death, [that really moved me]," said Brittany, another Jackson fan. "I felt it was a little bit pressured, maybe, because she was kept out of the spotlight, but it was still nice for the daughter to voice how she felt about the situation and made him a bit more real as a father."

Caleb Pope said the moment changed how he viewed Jackson. "How his daughter came in at the end, I thought it was touching," he said. "At first, I thought it was really emotional. Thinking that he was a father and not only was he a good father, he was a great father — I thought that really touched the hearts of the people. I think they saw he was a good person."

For complete coverage of the life, career and passing of the legendary entertainer, visit "Michael Jackson Remembered."

Share your Michael Jackson memories by uploading video and comments to Your.MTV.com or joining the discussion below.

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The Real Michael Jackson Memorial: His Music

Posted: 08 Jul 2009 09:16 AM PDT

A good listen to Jackson's songs can tell more about him than any speech, in Bigger Than the Sound.
By James Montgomery


Michael Jackson's <I>Bad</I>
Photo: Sony Music

It was quite a spectacle, wasn't it? Tuesday's Michael Jackson memorial was — to borrow a phrase from a million lazy headline writers — "Fit for a King," full of tears and testimonials and triple-octave tributes, a once-in-a-generation event that was watched by the entire world (or something like one-sixth of it, anyway). For more than two hours, if there was any other event happening on the planet, you didn't know about it — which is about as fitting of a farewell you can give to the man who taught the world how to moonwalk. You will remember where you were when it happened, just like you'll remember where you where when you heard the news that Jackson had died.

But no matter how great the Jackson memorial service was, it was still a memorial service, so regardless of its size or cost or spectacle, and — as with any production on that scale — there were less-than-great moments too. It ran very long (and at the end, during the whole "We Are the World" performance, simply ran off the tracks). Usher made some folks uncomfortable by serenading the casket, and, well, let's just say Representative Sheila Jackson Lee could've used a shot clock. And when Reverend Al Sharpton and Martin Luther King III expounded about Jackson the Pariah and Jackson the Icon, they didn't really give us a sense of Jackson the man.

To that end, it's amazing that for all the spectacle and melisma that captivated the Staples Center audience, the most memorable moments came when people who knew Jackson best talked about his humanity: Berry Gordy's story of MJ playing catcher on the Jackson 5 baseball team; Magic Johnson's joke about Jackson eating a bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken; Brooke Shields' moving speech; Jermaine Jackson's performance of his brother's favorite song, "Smile" and, of course, Jackson's daughter Paris' final farewell. These were the bits that reminded us that, for all the stuff we've read about Michael Jackson, for all the records he's sold and all the surgeries he subjected himself to, he was, at the end of the day, a friend, a brother and a father. He was a human being.

And there wasn't enough of that. Which is why, I think, the Jackson memorial left me feeling a bit empty. We already knew everything we needed to know about Jackson's legacy (the past two weeks have certainly reminded us of that). We wanted to know more about the stuff we didn't get to see when he was performing, which was basically any time he set foot in public.

And will we ever know any of it? Jackson's name will eventually fade from the cable news crawls in the coming weeks. Sure, there will be tell-all books and double albums of songs he didn't see fit to release, but the man is already gone forever — and with him, all his humanity and kindness and foibles, too.

As I rode the subway home from work last night, that thought genuinely depressed me. So, here's what I did: I took out my iPod and just started playing Jackson's music. I've basically been doing the same thing for the past two weeks, but this time, I listened harder to his vocal tricks, his whoops, the stuff going on the background of tracks like "Thriller" and "Workin' Day and Night." I could imagine him cracking a smile while listening to the backing beat of "P.Y.T." or "Bad," shaking his head in disbelief the first time he heard Eddie Van Halen's solo on "Beat It," or even wiping the tears from his eyes after doing a take on "She's Out of My Life," all while Quincy Jones looked on approvingly from the studio control room.

None of this stuff might have actually happened, but that's beside the point. To 99.9 percent of Jackson's fans — the ones who never got the chance to watch Charlie Chaplin flicks in his bedroom or eat KFC with him — MJ's music was the only way they ever knew him. It's why they fell in love with him.

In the studio, Jackson was able to hide from the tabloids and lawyers and just make music. There's laughter and tears and swagger to the art he created. There's a humanity hiding just beneath the surface. It was him — unguarded and unfiltered, the way only his closest friends got to see him.

So if today, you're getting that same empty feeling, try going back and really listening to MJ's best stuff. Throw on Off the Wall and marvel at the extended high note Jackson hits toward the end of "Rock With You." Listen to Thriller and try not to shift a bit in your chair during the legendary run in the middle that starts with the title track, rolls right into "Beat It" and wraps with "Billie Jean" (and, really, keeps going with "Human Nature" and "P.Y.T." too). Dig into the second side of Bad, basically everything after his duet with Stevie Wonder, and realize just how underappreciated Jackson was as a songwriter.

Have your own memorial service through your iPod or car stereo. Eulogize his humanity accordingly. We all knew Michael Jackson, even if we really didn't.

Questions? Concerns? BTTS@MTVStaff.com

For complete coverage of the life, career and passing of the legendary entertainer, visit "Michael Jackson Remembered."

Share your Michael Jackson memories by uploading video and comments to Your.MTV.com or joining the discussion below.

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